i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
