Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
