the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You did what with his pubic hair?
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