I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
