So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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