I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
