I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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