Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
