My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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