Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize