You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
