with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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