how can u be prego again
Please, let me fuck your mom
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
