what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize