That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
