I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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