Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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