Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
