Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize