Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
