So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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