you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
