what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
