I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
