Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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