Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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