Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
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I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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