I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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