we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
