Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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