I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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