just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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