Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
