do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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