There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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