I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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