What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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