explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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