I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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