Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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