so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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