sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
