can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize