You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
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