Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
