I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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