Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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