He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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