She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
