i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize