Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
