garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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