I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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