My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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