dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
