Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
