what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
