I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
