Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
