And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i wish my penis had a tongue
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize