she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
