tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
is it fun? or sober?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
