he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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