You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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