dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
