Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
